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What I Really Wanted to Say

I sliced the yellow onion
into rings    the red bell pepper into strips
marinated the chuck in garlic
even watched a youtube video    to make sure
I hadn’t missed anything
these days    I’ve forgotten how to cook meat
the salad I’d stretch with tomatoes
hoping    we’d sit outside on chairs
looking at the willow trees
wanting to tell you how    I hope your truck
will start in the morning     and how you’ll
have enough money to pay your bills
and how I wish you were able to    laugh more
but mostly    after years of not sitting
at the same table   my heart is a beach ball
bouncing on green grass.