Transcendentalist
She thought a person should reserve black for funerals, unsuitable for making appearances on a young girl’s hands, just like Vaneeta’s in her Sophomore English class, and certainly unsuitable for a white woman in her forties.
Mr. Hot Spot
He couldn’t get the fertilizer stink out of his nostrils. The sacks he delivered were made from liquid raw sewage brewed locally in Bakersfield. The odor seeped into his clothing and scalp. Even his dog Beast ran away from him. By the end of the summer, he’d figure another way to pay for community college. […]
Shoot Me, I’m Online Dating (11)
I rendezvous with my online dates at either one of two places. The first is near Lake Merritt in Oakland, which provides ample time to sniff each other out and offers enough café choices should we wish to postpone our good-byes. If not, we’ve gotten exercise, and for a short while, can pretend to be […]
Shoot Me, I’m Online Dating (9)
One evening as I was minding my own email, an online dating site informed me that I had a message. I clicked a link from successfulman56 and read, “Hello beautiful.” Anyone who calls me beautiful gets my immediate attention. He went on, “You are the perfect definition of beauty and I would like to know the secret behind […]
Shoot Me, I’m Dating Online (8)
Dates have come and gone bye-bye. Let me see. One friend didn’t appreciate my letting him pay for our first several dates, whereas I thought I was allowing him to exercise his male prerogative; then there was the guy who phoned to give me his ground rules regarding what I had to do if we had […]
Shoot Me, I’m Online Dating (7)
Help! Profile pictures confuse me. Many men are wearing sunglasses, often standing in front of a car next to a large dog. Let’s think about this for a moment. Here is the first picture a potential dating friend sees. But what opens on the computer is disappointing–a blurry photo of a man wearing dark glasses. I can only guess that a […]
Shoot Me, I’m Online Dating (6)
“Didn’t I tell you that I had a thing for serial killers?” I wrote to a fellow traveler after he suggested that we meet to make sure that neither of us were serial killers. It sounded like a unique opening line. We decided on an appointed time for coffee, a rendezvous at Peet’s on Fourth Street. It […]
Shoot Me, I’m Online Dating (5)
A broken heart is an open heart, at least that’s what I hear. So here’s to all us online daters because after being disappointed and defeated, it takes courage to return to the playing field, and to announce to everyone who wishes to listen, Here I am. Take it or leave it. Or for some […]
Shoot Me, I’m Online Dating (4)
Skate boarding through the chatrooms of lonely algorithms, I meet a contractor who wants to know my idea of a life-partner I text him caring, intelligent, sexy, etc. and he says wow that’s just what he’s looking for and do I think he fits that description? I text him how the fuck should I know […]
Shoot Me, I’m Online Dating (3)
One day at a time. Right? As I waited in line to cross the San Francisco Bay Bridge from Oakland, the agent waved me past the tollbooth. “Keep going. She’s already paid for you,” and pointed to an older BMW that was waiting its turn ahead of me at the metering lights. I couldn’t wrap […]